My reign of terror is over.
Sleep safe in your beds, New Yorkers. My crime spree has ended. I could only evade Johnny Law for so long; I knew my days of criminality could not last forever.
You can now ride the subways safe in the knowledge that I will no longer sip coffee, stretch out my legs, or (perish the thought!) rest my bag on the empty seat next to me. For many years, I've gotten away with such malfeasance. But no more!
And what act of villainy led to my downfall? I walked between the cars of a non-moving train. And it pains me even to type that- I know that in doing so I had gone much too far. I had breached the limits of decency. It was as if I could no longer bear my guilt, and did the most brazen thing I could think of in the hope that I would finally be captured. And so I was.
My punishment? A seventy-five dollar ticket. $75 is far too little, consdering the depth and the breadth and the scope of my crimes against the MTA. I weep in gratitude.
I thought you could walk between cars if the train wasn't moving.Uh. I guess no more!
$75 is a very small amount indeed for your crimes.
Feh.
Posted by: jenn | Thursday, March 06, 2008 at 08:52 PM
Jeepers. What is happening -- wait -- what has happened to our city?! On second thought, don't answer that. It's all too depressing to contemplate.
Posted by: regina | Thursday, March 06, 2008 at 09:22 PM
You mean they didn't decide to execute you at sunrise? Hmmm....lightweights.
Posted by: Christie | Thursday, March 06, 2008 at 09:47 PM
fight the power, sistah...
you calling Spike or shall I? heh. I can has Spike?
sorry. couldn't resist.
Posted by: caroline | Thursday, March 06, 2008 at 10:26 PM
Glad to hear you finally got what was coming to you. It's all about the Quality of Life, you know.
Posted by: cari | Thursday, March 06, 2008 at 11:43 PM
Are you fucking kidding me? You should move to SF - BART doesn't, you know, go anywhere, but at least you can move around on it. Sheesh!
Posted by: lala | Friday, March 07, 2008 at 02:50 AM
Non-moving train? That is some BS. I wonder if that's contestable.
Attica! Attica! Attica!
Posted by: Michelle | Friday, March 07, 2008 at 06:10 AM
Good grief.
Posted by: Miss T | Friday, March 07, 2008 at 11:23 AM
You ARE a dangerous criminal!!!
Posted by: Norma | Friday, March 07, 2008 at 07:06 PM
Well you know, you let these little things go and the next thing you know you would be swinging from moving train to moving train.
Anarchy.
Posted by: Laurie | Saturday, March 08, 2008 at 08:31 PM
Well, so much for the good kharma of that donation from the previous post. See, if you had spent recklessly you'd have gotten off with a firm shake of the head, sort of like Bush and Cheney.
Posted by: carlarey | Sunday, March 09, 2008 at 11:17 AM
Your like the joker, only more of a threat to society. Nice job, NY's finest!
Posted by: Jeff | Monday, March 10, 2008 at 01:38 PM
And to think I was in Brooklyn before your crime spree was ended by the law!! Who knew that I was in such danger!
Posted by: Scheherazaad | Monday, March 10, 2008 at 08:58 PM
I did not even know that was a crime. Oh the pity of it. Think of the great yarn you could have bought with that money!
Posted by: Jennifer | Friday, March 14, 2008 at 05:30 AM
I used to work for at the place you go for hearings on these. You would be surprised how common this ticket is. The only ones more common I think are the smoking on elevated trains platform tickets. You're outside but you're inside.
Posted by: Wanett | Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 09:27 AM